Look what you made us do: Debunking the Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce Super Bowl conspiracies

We here at the Star Tribune take investigative journalism seriously, so when we heard that Taylor Swift’s relationship with Travis Kelce was a combination publicity stunt and political psy-op, we went to work.

We filled conference rooms with documents. We executed data analysis. We shined flashlights into the dark web. We wore tin-foil hats over our virtual-reality goggles

Swift is desperately seeking publicity. She was hired by the NFL to increase the league’s popularity. The NFL is rigging games to benefit the Chiefs. Swift is, indeed, a political psy-op agent, and Kelce is her partner in crime.

Kelce and Swift were facing financial ruin before they orchestrated their sham relationship. Kelce has made only $77 million as a football player, and another handful of millions in endorsements. He’s going to make only $28 million more in the two final years of his contract, and then may have to take a pay cut that could limit him to single-digit millions per year. Plus endorsements.